Child Custody, Support & Coparenting Plans

Whereas children need the love and care of both parents, they can adjust happily to your separation. No credible research has ever found children to be damaged by moving between two residences in order to spend separate time with each parent. The research does show, however, that ongoing conflict between parents increases childhood depression and impedes educational achievement.

Children fare worst when a parent either abandons the child or is unable to contain powerful feelings of fear and anger in the child’s presence. Children fare best when their parents establish a functional co-parenting relationship.

Our mediators work with both parents to create a coparenting plan for their children. The plan describes in detail how you want to share time (so-called physical custody); how you want to make decisions about your children’s education, religious instruction, healthcare, and other important matters (legal custody); and how the costs of raising the child are most appropriately allocated between parents (child support).

If you reach an agreement on parenting arrangements, your mediator will prepare a document to record that agreement as your parenting plan. The judge will review your agreement and, in all likelihood, approve it — either as a stand-alone coparenting plan (for unmarried parents) or as part of a Marital Settlement Agreement (for parents in a divorce or legal separation). The agreement then becomes an order of the court. If, on the other hand, you’re unable to agree, you can pursue litigation as a last resort.

When parents can’t agree on arrangements for their children, a judge may require or recommend a court-appointed mediation. Practice varies between and within states, but a court mediator (or evaluator) may issue a custody recommendation to the judge. The court mediator may also interview the children and other relatives, and the judge may order further investigation via in-home visits by a social worker. Whereas judges ultimately decide, court-appointed mediators may exert power and influence. In this process, children often suffer greatly — especially if required to testify in open court when a parent wants to challenge the court mediator’s recommendation.

Modifying Custody and Support Orders

Circumstances change. For example, changes in parents’ work schedules, new places of residence, and the existence of new partners can render existing custody arrangements impracticable. Likewise, children’s needs and preferences change as they grow older. Parents may, by mutual consent, deviate from existing custody and support orders. However, these informal deviations often create confusion and subsequent conflict among parents. Your mediator can help you establish a robust coparenting plan whenever circumstances change. You may then file this agreement with the court as a modification to the existing order.